Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Screams Inside Beckingham Palace

Transcript: Conversations between Mr and Mrs David Beckham
Recorded: October 9, 2004

*Out Of Your Mind by Victoria Beckahm playing on the sound system*
*Door opening*
*Soccer boots clicking on marble tiles*
Victoria :*Distant screech* Where have you been?
David: ugh
Victoria: Daaaaaaavid?
David: ugh
*Footsteps, (highheels) approaching*
Victoria: I've been on the phone all day trying to clean up the mess that lying cow made.
With no help from you, I might add.
*Sound of soccer ball being kicked into a wall at close range*
*Phone ringing*
Victoria: Daaaaaaavid don't you dare answer it. I'm talking to you.
Answering machine: Beep!
Voice from answer machine: Hi Vicky, Hi DB, it's Sir Elt's. Just wondering how you're coping. F***ing media, those vile, vile pigs. If you're wanting to get away David and I would love to have you guys over, so, you know, if you need some time out. We've just gotten rid of Robbie, and Liz is trying to patch things up in Bombay. So er, the guest wing is free, so, you know, you're welcome anytime. Don't worry we've got a great beautician we can hook you up with. He does great spray tans. Oxygen, not sugar. Great game last week Dave. Love to Buster and Monster, chins up eh! ciao
David: Sir Elton is really nice, isn't he. Are they a couple? I've been hearing rumours he's a homosexual. But he writes all those love songs.
Victoria: Sometimes I can't believe how dumb you are. Mum always said you were really stupid. Aaaaand lower class.
*Sound of television being turned on. Theme song of Neighbours plays*
Victoria: Have you had your head shaven again? I thought we agreed you were going to grow it out.
*Sound of incoming text message*
Victoria: Who's that.
*Sounds of text message being written*
Victoria: Who is it Daaaaavid?
*footsteps, soccer boots across marble tiles*
Victoria: Where do you think you're going?
*Door opening*
Victoria: You're using me, confusing me, two-timing me!
*Door closing*