El Principe Rebelde

Hot on the heels of the Buckingham Batman Debacle, it seems The Cad's condition is worsening. During their investigations into the alleged abduction attempt of Prince Harry from Omar Nievas's Bar in the one-street town of Salvador Maria, Argentinian officials have followed a bizarre trail of evidence that has lead them to the InterContinental Hotel in Buenos Aires. In the week following the young Prince's sudden return to England on a commercial flight police searched the abandoned and unpaid hotel room of a person calling themselves Major James Hewitt.

POLICE INVENTORY OF JAMES HEWITT'S HOTEL ROOM:

PLASTIC BAG 1

1 x carton of Benson and Hedges full strength cigarettes (3 remaining)
23 x Omar Nievas's matchbooks
1 x 24 pack Trojan 'Rough Rider' condoms (unopened)
1 x black sock
1 x tester bottle Chanel L'Egoiste
6 x damaged British Royal family portraits (head of Prince Harrry missing)
1 x iPod Mini containing 2 x Mp3s (Father and Son-Cat Stevens and Alive-Peal Jam)
1 x song lyrics and chord progressions written on InterContinental writing paper with the title 'Third in Line to Your Heart'.
1 x Nickel brand Morning After Rescue Gel for the face (empty)
1 x Salon Lady Jane hairbrush
1 x floorplan of Omar Nievas's bar
2 x 2m lengths of rope
1 x balaclava
1 x room service order form (incomplete)


PLASTIC BAG 2

4 x small paper squares with white powder residue
1 x black underpants, Calvin Klein brand
1 x razor, Gillette brand (used)
1 x Polo Players Edition magazine
1 x News of the World newspaper
4 x Magnum size Verve Cliquot Champagne (empty)
1 x Yellow ruled writing pad with three loose pages (penciled writing): page 1- the name Harry Hewitt signed repeatedly in several different styles, page 2 - Hewitt & Son: Aboriginal Art Dealers written in large, block letters, page 3 - pornographic doodlings.
9 x mobile phone pre-paid recharge cards
1 x Losing My Virginity: Richard Branson, The Autobiography
1 x Caron Dache crayons