Saturday, June 04, 2005

Cleansing Rituals For Anyone Who Has Been Exposed To My Hand My Heart By russell crowe

My Grandson Grayam recently returned from a weekend in Coffs Harbour. russell crowe invited him to his farm called Nana Glen; it seems russell wants him to play the 'young russell' in a film clip for his next single. Grayam just can't stop talking about russell, who gave him a swag (literally) of his latest album, My Hand My Heart. I got a special signed copy, Grayam said russell was quite insistent that I listen to it. To be honest I wasn't really interested but I played it as all things should be received with grace. Unfortunately, I had a negative and violent reaction, and I have only just come to. I was half way through the song called Worst In The World when I had to run to the bathroom where I vomited black wool for approximately 23 hours. In between bouts I lay on the cool tiles, sucking the moisture from a soggy towel. If you have any adverse side effects from this music I suggest you perform the following cleansing rituals to rid yourself of russell's woolly demons.


Smudging can be used to eliminate negative energy fields from any technology involved, this includes computers, car stereos, ipods etc. (when cleansing your ipod it is imperative to run the battery down completely first). I like to use sage as it is good for banishing dark forces. I usually use Ceremonial White Sage, but garden sage works equally well. Work in one direction, spiraling to the centre using the classic Counter Clockwise Banishing Manoeuvre.

You can use a smudge stick. I prefer a small wad of the leaves. Carry a heatproof container (ashtray) in your left hand; the smudge in your right. If you use leaves or a smudge stick, knock the ashes off often, so you won't catch anything on fire (avoid nylon garments). It's a good idea to keep a container of water close by, just in case.

For severe contamination bury your technology under a pile of your favourite CD's (original, not pirates) on the eve of a full moon night. Retrieve on the following half moon.

Self Purification Ritual

Using a bowl you have an everyday relationship with, fill with spring water (not evian) and three pinches of salt. When you are ready breathe russell's woolly demons into the salt water where they will dissolve away. Repeat until all images (aural or visual) of russell crowe have passed out of your body. Carry the bowl to the sink and flush water down with cold running water. Smudge yourself with jasmine or lavender.

Smudging outdoors (photo courtesy of Coffs Harbour Smudging Society).

Getting Rid Of Nasty Astral Slime

Sit in nature at sunset holding a stone (any stone will do). Project all the nasty slimy and inky feeling you picked up from this ordeal into the stone and then say:

I release this astral slime
And all darkness which is not mine
I let go of all that may have harmed
My aura is bright, all russ released
And I am charmed

Now throw the rock into a body of water preferably as the sun drops below the horizon and be conscious of its fading light taking away any astral slime in your energy field.

I hope these will help those whose lives have been polluted. To those remaining untouched, remember - prevention is better than cure.

CV x