Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Caution Bernard

As Bernard Fanning records his solo album, we feel the time has come to offer a gentle warning: Bernard, the path you are choosing is fraught with danger. Others before you have broken free from their groups to release material on their own and the results speak for themselves:

Brian McFadden - dumps his band, dumps his wife and dumps his album on us.
Katie Underwood - had moderate success after leaving Popstars' Bardot but was last seen working on reception at the Banish Laser Hair Removal Clinic on Commercial Rd, South Yarra.
Michael Hutchence - was recording his solo album when the stress of it all drove him to seek the ultimate relief.
Paul McCartney - John Lennon would NEVER have let him release Mull of Kintyre.
Mick Jagger - solo album was almost as chilling as his portrayal of our Ned Kelly.

Bernard, if you require any further examples, need counseling or if you just need someone to pick you up, don't hesitate to contact us as this isn't the first time we have worried for you. We didn't understand why you took your group to the Danish Royal Wedding Celebrations. We have truck with Princess Marketing of Denmark, she is a square. We didn't RSVP to the weddding invitation, we are using it to make filters for our special cigarettes.