Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down.
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the Prince with Red Hair.
In a palace born and raised
In bubble-wrap is where I spent most of my daze.
Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool
Shooting wild animals cos we’re born to rule.
Then my parents, who were up to no good
Started making trouble in the neighbourhood.
They used to fight and my Mum got scared
Told everyone she used to love a man with Red Hair.
I begged and pleaded with them every day
But they got a divorce and Mummy went away,
On a yacht with an Arab and dragged us along
Threw us a disco while he and Mum got it on.
One month later, yo she’s dead!
Wrote my card to Mummy then went out of my head.
Went to talk to Daddy but Daddy wasn’t there
Too busy being a tampon, no time for the Spare.
I turned to the bottle, I turned to the bong
Cheated my exams (which apparently is wrong).
Started painting dots like the natives Down Under
Only cos it looked so easy - didn’t wanna steal their thunder.
Wore a swastika, made front page
Daddy was incandescent with rage.
Third in line, I’m only a Spare
Got no purpose, just the Prince with Red Hair.