Saturday, December 16, 2017

Self-Check Tips for Christmas Lunch Part 2

How To Avoid Battles Over The Table

1.  If you have mediated a family Christmas table for years, and are sick of it, a good idea is to bow out. Read, text or play on a device. Generation Y have made it socially acceptable to gaze into devices in company.

2.  Some dulling of the senses may be required for protection.  Restricted quantities, with wine and hard liquor kept to a minimum.  A nibble of a sedative can be of assistance.  Stoners will know that Xmas Lunch ain’t no place for weed, paranoia can set in, even for experienced smokers.  Fast drugs and heroin should not be used as it will be obvious, everyone will know, and you will never hear the end of it. 

3.  Changing the topic when you see tensions rising is a good idea.  Most families have some commonality of interest, like Footy.  Bring up something like the latest indiscretion of a footballer.  This allows the women to take part too.  The other trick is to go for the latest public scandal.  This Christmas we have a whole bunch of hot topics, the latest ‘missing Mum’, Harvey Weinstein, Don Burke and the mutterings around Menzies Era thespian Geoffrey Rush.  Another method is to make a ‘modern joke’ that everyone will get, for example, vocalising relief that no one in the family is gluten free or paleo, as you reach for the stuffing.