Sunday, December 16, 2012

In Celebration of the List: Letters to 2012 (in the style of Marcel Duchamp)


1. All those with bourgeois faces (esp. Ted Baillieu)

2. Paul David Hewson (aka Bono) **Not coming if Paul's gonna be there**

3. Hamish and/or Andy

4. Any members of Coldplay (esp. Chris Martin) - Coldplay is the sort of music you can listen to when your parents are home and your mum would love to take you to their concert. And as for you, Chris, even if she was pretty awesome wouldn't there be a point where you'd put your hand up and go "But wait, it's Gwyneth Paltrow"?

5. Elle McPherson - the cameras have snapped her soul away. We cannot be anywhere near her.

6. Bob Brown - some people have been horrified when we say we have never liked Bob Brown. He has been a bad face for the Greens. 

7. Anyone who has ever worked for or voluntarily listened to Austereo.

8. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - it would be catastrophic if we were in a social environment with these two because our strong ethical beliefs would drive us to tell them the truth: that they are perpetuating a dangerous mix of feudalism and celebrity.

9. "Spooky" Hugh Jackman **For those who dare to click**

10. Arnold Schwartzenegger

11.  Lance Armstrong - Badcore