Famous People Bore Us To Tracksuits

As you all (the thousand upon thousands of you) may have noticed, we have been on sabbatical for quite some time now and we feel it's only fair to explain why. In recent months we have been lost in the foggy haze of disillusion. We have been wandering around, wearing nothing but tracksuits, staring blankly at the tabloids, at the television and at each other. We go online, we read Popbitch where they tell us Bono turns poverty into a brand and a lot of money along the way; we are not surprised, we said that months ago. When we go shopping in our trackies we study chewing gum and chocolate wrappers, when once we would have grabbed every publication with Britney's bald head on it, but she's just yet another sellebrity cruising for a comeback (Keith Urban-Kidman is another one. And as for Anna-Nicole Smith, she was trying for it, then realised death was her only comeback). We force ourselves to watch E! News in an effort to shake ourselves from our fame fatigue. Then it happened: our epiphany. We saw that the United Nations poster couple intend to adopt yet another child, this time from Chad, to provide racial balance in their rainbow tribe. That was it. No wonder we are tired! We just can't take it anymore! There are too many turkeys around the globe and we are sick of their gobbling! We don't need to write about them. There are plenty of other online institutions for this purpose.