Saturday, November 25, 2006

Extra Turkey

Another nominee for Turkey of the Year has been brought to our attention:

TURKEY MALIBU WHOPPER WITH BACON: Mel Gibson - a racist, a drunk and NOT an Australian.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Turkey of The Year 2006

We have decided to post the nominations for Best Turkey in Show earlier this year as last time we were inundated with thousands of votes.

And the nominees are:

TURKEY DRUMSTICK: Heather Mills, for thinking she could come between a Beatle and his spliff.

TURKEY NECK: Madonna, for hanging herself on a crucifix.

FAKE TURKEY: Jamie Brooksby, for obtaining his Big Brother win by deception and for posing as a poet.

PICKLED TURKEY: Keith Urban, for marrying a man.

TURKEY BONES: Nicole Richie, for pretending she doesn't have an eating disorder, then admitting she has, then pretending she's overcome it.

TURKEY JERKY: russell crowe for using Steve Irwin's memorial to act.

BAD TURKEY: O.J Simpson, for thinking he could move a book about 'the killings'.

CHRISTMAS LUNCH: The guests at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding at Orsini Odescalchi Castle.

LOST TURKEY: Nicole Kidman, clearly a mixed up person.

TALKING TURKEY: Bono, for turning poverty into a brand.

PRIZE TURKEY: Tom Cruise, no explanation neccessary.

GLAZED TURKEYS: Kate Moss, Pete Doherty and Marcia Hines.

TURKEY SLAPPER: Axel Whitehead - ARIA flasher.

Cast your votes!!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Keith Urban Wakes Up After A Year On The Sauce:

Oh My God! I married a Man!

.....and David

In the late 1830's Tasmania's Governor and Lady Franklin adopted an indigenous baby girl called Mathinna. They thought it was a good look having a coloured child around. When they returned to Mother England they left Mathinna behind.

For most of the last century Australian Government authorities removed indigenous children from their homes in the name of welfare.

Wealthy Europeans in colonial India adopted exotic Indian children to accessorize their palaces.

Recently there has been a Renaissance; certain unnamed media whores are reviving these practices. In the name of welfare these individuals and their people are cruising the globe handpicking third world children to add to their families. The chosen ones are offered a 'better life' in Hollywood, spending all day with the nanny while Mom and Dad make money.

One day they will have to say Sorry.